Labour is flogging 'Hated by Trump' badges. But does the US president really despise me?

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The Conservative party carpet-bombs me with begging emails, urgently needing £25 to make Brexit happen or level up the economy or stop the dangerous Keir Starmer. I quite enjoy them, from a dadaist perspective. I enjoy imagining someone sitting at their desk, filling in their bank details because they think 25 of their earth pounds will make the slightest bit of difference to regional inequalities.

© Provided by The Guardian Photograph: Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images

Labour – specifically David Lammy – different story. One, I support the party’s agenda, even if it’s not always 100% solid on what that is. Two, Labour badgers me much less often.

The other day, Lammy sent a mail asking everyone who might reasonably think Donald Trump hates them – presumably “fat pigs,” “slobs” and “bimbos” or, for brevity, all women, plus all races other than Caucasian, plus Sadiq Khan in particular – to buy a badge saying “Hated by Trump” for £8, most of which will be a donation to the Labour party.

Stupidly, I found myself drilling in to the proposition. Wearing a badge is a big deal. It’s not like a retweet – you have to be absolutely certain that you believe it. “Nuclear power, no thanks!”? Sure. But would Trump hate me? I can imagine him sneering at the proposition. “No, I only hate A-list feminists and beautiful women and American liberals.” I can sort-of imagine him parsing the difference between hatred and contempt, albeit in quite a ham-fisted statement full of capital letters (“Why would I HATE someone I would NEVER NOTICE?”).

© Photograph: Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images President Trump campaigning in Arizona.

The more I think about it, the more naive it sounds, the more I think progressives are just not mean enough for the fight they have got on their hands. After a while, I’m on a flight of fancy about how different things will look for all of us, if this time next week the American left – also not mean enough – has prevailed anyway.

I still don’t want to wear the badge. But I will send Lammy eight quid. I like him. I don’t care what he spends it on.