Dear Eric: I’ve been mentoring a young lady since she was in middle school. She’s in her early 30s now. She came from a very difficult background but has always had great tenacity and a circle of mentors who have encouraged her along the way. She’s doing incredibly well, graduated from college, has a good job and a car.
She was always overweight, but it’s getting worse. She looks to weigh somewhere between 500 and 600 pounds now. I feel I need to help her navigate a weight loss strategy, but I don’t know how to bring it up. I’ve never talked to her about it. She has good health insurance and access to mental health services and has received counseling in the past, which has helped her deal with childhood traumas. I know her counselor. What should I say/do?
– Worried Mentor
Dear Mentor: I don’t think you should say anything right now. What you can do is continue to be the resource and sounding board that you have been for her. Continue to check in about her mental well-being; continue to encourage her in her professional and personal pursuits. And, where appropriate, continue to guide her to services that will help her to process her traumas and to make changes. Up until now, your mentorship hasn’t crossed over into the realm of physical fitness, so I’m not sure an intervention of this sort from you will be well-received or as effective as simply having someone in her corner whom she trusts and who can help her make the best choices.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
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