Dear Eric: Regarding your response to “What to Say”, who didn’t know how to address a friend’s Ozempic weight loss: A couple of years ago, I lost about 60 pounds by sticking to a very strict diet (something I will never do again, it was that unpleasant and detrimental to my quality of life).
I was astounded when nobody appeared to notice. Well, at least they didn’t say that they noticed. So, after all that I suffered for that result, I was actually kind of hurt. A “You look great” comment would have been much more than enough, and much better than nothing at all.
Now, after gaining all that weight back due to not being able to continually and severely restrict my diet, I am using semaglutide. If and when it is as successful, I hope that somebody notices and mentions it in one way or the other. I don’t know too many people who would be offended by a “You look great” comment.
– Looking Great
Dear Great: The issue isn’t so much offense, per se, so much as making a statement that isn’t received as a compliment. While some might receive such a comment in the spirit given, others might not want friends or strangers commenting on their bodies, or they might have complicated feelings about their journeys, or they might have lost weight unwillingly, as through illness. I gave the advice I did not to have everyone walking around on eggshells, but to remind folks that we don’t always know what’s going on in people’s lives or minds.
This is also true in your case – you wanted a compliment, and you didn’t receive one and those around you didn’t sense that. Sometimes, I find that a desire to be complimented is wrapped up in a desire to be more authentic with those around us. Do you, perhaps, have an opportunity to share your pride at your accomplishment with a friend or loved one? Or even share the good parts and the frustrating aspects of the journey you’re on? It’s not bragging to say, “I’m doing this thing for me and I’m really happy with it.” And doing so extends an invitation for others to celebrate with you in the way that you want to be celebrated.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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