This 5-Step Strategy from Mel Robbins Could Help You Disconnect to Sleep Better and Stress Less

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Can you remember the last time you went a whole day—or even an hour—without checking your phone? While our phones help us stay connected to friends and family and have lots of positives, there are downsides—but it’s how you use the phone that makes a difference.

“One of the most important things in life are the connections we have with other people,” says Mel Robbins, speaking at a Verizon event aimed at helping develop digital wellness habits. “I want to make sure that I’m not missing the ability to connect with the people who are in front of me because I don’t have balance between my need to use devices versus knowing when to put it down.”

To help you achieve that phone-life balance, Robbins has come up with an action plan. “These are things you can put to use immediately and they will shift your mindset and make you feel empowered,” says Robbins.

It Starts with You

“I used to be the kind of person who always had the phone in my hand,” says Robbins. “There are two things you can do to start developing better phone-life balance.”

• Put your phone down when you walk into your house. When you’re at home and you’re not working, don’t have the phone on your person,” Robbins says. “Stop blaming work. If you’re available all of the time, then you’re never going to be available in your life.” If you have a home office, leave the phone in there when you’re doing other things around the house. Robbins has set up a charging station in her kitchen so phones have a place to go. You can also place a pretty tray or basket near the front door so everyone drops their phone there when they walk in. Or try these other ideas for storing small items.

• Don’t mindlessly reach for your phone when standing in line. If you’re bored or agitated, resist the urge to check your phone. Just be in the moment and practice that boundary.

Be Curious, Not Controlling

It can be aggravating to always see the people around you—friends, your kids—always on their phone. When it comes to screen time—whether it’s your partner mindlessly scrolling or a friend glued to group chats—try stepping into their perspective instead of being judgmental.

When you see someone chronically on their phone, get curious about the bigger picture. Instead of jumping to judgment, ask questions like, What apps are you using? What do you like about spending time online? How does it make you feel afterward? Curiosity opens the door to conversations that foster connection and helps everyone feel seen, not scolded.

For kids, their phones are the way they stay connected to and in touch with their friends, and they feel pressure to always be available and accessible, says Robbins.

Let Them Lead the Way

If you’re worried about how much time your kids, your partner, even you, are spending on the phone, guide with compassion and collaboration. Instead of pointing fingers, sit down together and talk it through. Gently say what you’ve noticed and ask “Have you thought about what you want to do about trying to reduce your screen time? Approaching it as something to work on together builds trust, respect and more mindful habits.

Practice These Two Habits Every Day

• No phones in bed or next to your bed while you sleep. “If your kids use the phone as an alarm to wake up, now you get to go in and wake them up!” says Robbins. And for adults, what a great chance to get an alarm clock. Plus, your nightstand will be more organized.

• No phones at the dinner table. This is the ideal place to connect with family and friends over a delicious family meal. If your phone is sitting on the table, you’ll be tempted to pick it up and check email or respond to a text and then your attention has drifted away from the people right in front of you.

Related: The 8 Best Alarm Clocks, According to Testing

Create a Rocking Family Group Chat

Think of it as your family’s virtual living room—a space for inside jokes, silly photos and cat reels, and sharing the everyday wins worth cheering. Group texts are handy for “What does everyone want for dinner?” But go beyond logistics. This is Robbins’ favorite tip as a way to work with the phone and meet your family where they are. Bonus: It’s a modern scrapbook in the making.

Read the original article on Better Homes & Gardens