SINGAPORE – The Straits Times speaks to individuals with the most common neurodivergent disorders – autism spectrum disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder – to see how they navigate society not built with them in mind.
Ngee Ann Polytechnic graduate Ray Er Jia Rui dreams of one day becoming a Chinese teacher.
He fell in love with the language in secondary school, after being influenced by his grandfather, who practises Chinese calligraphy.
“I watched many YouTube videos that shared how intricate and beautiful Chinese characters are. That gave me the motivation to pursue a career in mother tongue education,” he said.
But if he achieves his ambition, the 19-year-old will not be like most teachers.
He was diagnosed with moderate to severe autism spectrum disorder when he was three years old. Doctors noticed that he was not speaking in short sentences like other children his age, and he would not hold eye contact.
The boy could have faced significant challenges in communicating and interacting in social settings, experienced more distress from sensory input, and exhibited more pronounced repetitive behaviours.
But with timely intervention and support from his parents, teachers and peers, he acquired strategies that let him navigate social situations and manage his sensory sensitivities.
“The symptoms are not as severe, and I have managed to live life like 80 per cent to 90 per cent of a regular person,” he noted.
Earlier in 2025, he obtained a diploma in Chinese studies from Ngee Ann Polytechnic and secured a teacher training sponsorship with the Ministry of Education (MOE).
He enlisted for national service in mid-August and plans to continue his studies at the National Institute of Education afterwards.
Still, it has not been smooth sailing all the way.
Ngee Ann Polytechnic graduate Ray Er Jia Rui and his father Er Chiang Kai. They were shocked with the diagnosis since there had been no history of autism in the family.
ST PHOTO: SHINTARO TAY
His father Er Chiang Kai said they were shocked by the boy’s diagnosis, as there had been no history of autism in the family.
Mr Er, chief technology officer at a software company, read about the condition, and decided to place his son – the eldest of three children – in both a regular kindergarten and Metta Preschool, an early intervention centre for those with special needs.
At the centre, the boy received speech and occupational therapy, and began picking up social and fine motor skills.
When the time came for primary school enrolment, the parents wrote to multiple schools in Tampines where they lived.
“I was really quite touched when the Tampines Primary School principal brought along a panel of teachers to meet me and try to understand my child. From that meeting, I got good assurance that they would try their best to take good care of my son,” said Mr Er.
ST ILLUSTRATION: ADOBE STOCK, LIM KAILI
Despite the school’s willingness to provide support, the first few primary school years were difficult.
“He wouldn’t listen, he would do whatever he wanted – like walking around the classroom – and he even acted like a teacher in front of his classmates,” said Mr Er.
His son attended speech therapy classes every Saturday to improve his condition. Speech therapy for those with autism is designed to help them express themselves, understand others and navigate social situations more effectively.
Mr Er said that eventually, as the boy grew to understand more about social skills, the situation improved and he started making friends in upper primary.
“People with autism can be very smart and excel in academics, but to them, social skills is like a subject they have to learn,” he added.
Eventually, Mr Ray Er formed close friendships with classmates in Tampines Secondary School who, like him, had introverted personalities.
Having found a strong support network, he thrived. He took on leadership roles in his co-curricular activity in St John Brigade, and was even given the Top CCA Student Award.
But as he grew older, social situations became more complex. In Ngee Ann Polytechnic, he struggled with group projects.
“I wasn’t the most proactive group member so I kept getting marked down during peer evaluations, which affected my grades,” said Mr Er.
He told his speech therapist about it, and she worked with him on how to better contribute to a group project and how to manage his perfectionist tendencies so he would not avoid chipping in.
The situation was happily resolved.
In the second year of polytechnic, Mr Er applied for the MOE teacher training sponsorship.
Due to his condition, he had to do a one-month attachment in March 2023 at a primary school before MOE could confirm his eligibility for the sponsorship programme.
He got to observe and assist teachers in handling classes, and had opportunities to conduct lessons on his own as well.
“I do have the prerequisites for being a teacher – not all of them, but some. It’s the social interactions with students that I have to work on,” Mr Er said.
He did well during the attachment and was found eligible for the sponsorship programme.
His father said: “Being a teacher, your social skills must be quite good to deal with kids. That may not come naturally to him, but seeing that he is really able to pick up social skills through hard work and through learning, I believe he can teach.”
Mr Ray Er signed up for additional speech therapy to better equip and prepare himself.
One of the unique strengths of those with autism is that they can have an intense and highly focused interest in a particular topic, and become an expert.
For Mr Er, that is his love for the Chinese language. He has delved deep into Chinese classics and poetry, and is considering volunteering as a citizen translator who helps with translation of government materials.
“I really aspire to help more children become bilingual, and help those with special needs as well,” he said. – Lee Li Ying
It was only after she suspected her daughter of showing symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) that Ms Elena Ho, 49, sought an evaluation for herself for the highly heritable condition.
In 2021, when she received a diagnosis, she suddenly understood that she was not “dumb” as she had long believed herself to be.
Instead, she is a neurodivergent individual, whose brain works differently from the average or “neurotypical” person. Her newfound understanding of neurodivergence also helped to enhance her relationship with her family.
“It was very validating – like okay, this is not in my head, this is real… The struggles I used to experience made sense,” said Ms Ho, who is now a psychotherapist with her own practice.
“You learn that your behaviours are because of brain differences and not personality or character flaws. You have the opportunity to take back control and rewrite the old limiting narratives and start seeing possibilities.”
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that typically emerges in childhood and persists into adulthood. It is marked by chronic patterns of inattention, hyperactivity or impulsivity, disrupting daily functioning. Those who have ADHD are more likely to experience a mental health issue such as anxiety or depression, and have sleep problems.
ADHD does not typically develop in adulthood, but adult patients may not have been diagnosed as children. It is frequently missed or diagnosed late in females. For Ms Ho, the symptoms, such as the difficulty she had with focusing in class and her hyper-focus, were there early, but no one linked them to ADHD, which was then not as well understood.
Unlike her daughter Penelope Delbridge, who is in Primary 4 and “quite hyperactive”, Ms Ho is more likely to find her mind wandering.
“My Chinese teacher used to call me ‘bai ri meng’ (Chinese for daydream) because I was always daydreaming,” she said.
Although she was in Nanyang Primary, one of Singapore’s most sought-after primary schools, she could not focus in class and ended up having to do a fifth year of secondary school in the Normal stream.
The shame was overwhelming, she added.
“It wasn’t just about poor academic results… For a 12-year-old, imagine believing that’s your entire worth, and your future trajectory of incredible possibilities is flushed down the toilet.”
She said ADHD behaviour is highly context-driven – someone may perform well at the workplace but be unable to cope with the demands at home.
“I noticed that if there is interest, and no matter how challenging it is, people with ADHD will do well.”
One characteristic of ADHD is the tendency to hyper-focus, which is a double-edged sword, as it can come at the detriment of everything else, such as other tasks and deadlines, even if it means that the work under focus is done to perfection.
Young people living with ADHD and its challenges in appropriate attention, organisation and executive functioning can find it significantly impacts their academic life, leading to educational underachievement.
Ms Ho went to art school, and had a good career in film and television, doing motion graphics post-production work in short-term projects, which she liked.
Research has shown that women exhibit both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. Females are more likely to experience inattentive symptoms to a greater extent than the hyperactive-impulsive symptoms, which are more commonly associated with males.
Girls and women with inattention from ADHD may come across as being easily distracted, disorganised, overwhelmed and lacking in effort or motivation. It can also be more difficult to recognise.
Ms Ho began to recognise the signs in her daughter – and herself – when she was studying to become a counsellor in 2020. She holds a Master of Arts in psychotherapy from Leeds Beckett University.
“When I read more and more about it, it resonated with me,” she said.
It also explained why she struggled with some of the course materials, which were very technical and full of jargon.
“I would read the material over and over and over again, and it was so painful. I would spend a long time just trying to understand what it was actually trying to tell me, and (that is) if I can remember it,” she added.
“So after getting the diagnosis, I got some medication, and that was when I realised what people meant by brain fog. I never understood it because to me, that was the baseline.”
Medication is not a magic pill, but it can aid focus, as it also did for her daughter, she said.
Ms Ho’s diagnosis opened her eyes to her abilities and allowed her to empathise with the different ways of thinking and behaviours that people have.
Her husband Kenn Delbridge, an audio engineer, was diagnosed with ADHD in 2010. He said the diagnosis helped him understand many of his behavioural tendencies that had a negative effect on his personal relationships.
He added that before his wife’s diagnosis, they might have followed a conventional narrative where any shortcomings or failures were a result of deliberate acts or an inability to achieve certain results.
“Being informed on the differences in how people with ADHD deal with things has allowed a better sense of understanding and kindness, and finding positives instead of negatives.”
Unlike his wife, he did not seek medication. “I felt being aware of how I would react to certain situations was already a powerful resource to help me, but I do recognise that medication could have been a positive option had I chosen that path,” he said.
Their daughter, who received a diagnosis in Primary 1, said she is fine with it: “Because I am different and that’s unique. It doesn’t make me fit in, it makes me my own person and makes me hyper energetic and crazy. Wahahaha.” – Joyce Teo