One of my clients recently shared how a small shift in her household routine had unexpected ripple effects.
Her husband’s doctor recommended regular exercise, so he committed to daily gym sessions. She fully supported the idea — prioritizing our health is always a good thing. But soon, it became clear that while he was at the gym, spin class and the pool, school drop-offs, errands and dinner prep still had to happen. And suddenly, those responsibilities were falling on her alone.
At first, they tried to make it work without talking about it. She took on more tasks. She figured he’d make up for it later. But over time, the imbalance became obvious, and they realized they needed to sit down and find a solution that worked for both of them.
Instead of letting frustration build, they approached it as a challenge to solve together. They both agreed his workouts were important, but so were their shared responsibilities. The key was figuring out how to adjust their schedules in a way that felt fair.
Small adjustments, big impact
Shifting workouts to early mornings or evenings freed up time for school runs and errands. He still got his gym time, but it no longer overlapped with the busiest parts of the day.
Trying time-efficient workouts made a difference, too. Instead of spending hours at the gym, he focused on high-intensity workouts that gave him the same results in half the time.
Mixing in home workouts on certain days saved commuting time, giving him extra flexibility to pitch in around the house.
Sharing the load
It wasn’t just about adjusting his workout time; it was about making sure household tasks weren’t falling disproportionately on one person. They rebalanced responsibilities.
They divided chores more evenly so she didn’t feel like she was managing everything alone, and involved their kids in small tasks, teaching them responsibility while easing the workload.
Once she wasn’t carrying the full weight of the household, it was easier to support his fitness goals without feeling overwhelmed.
Finding ways to exercise together
They also realized they didn’t always have to choose between family time and fitness time —sometimes, they could combine them.
Weekend hikes became a regular thing.
They started biking together in the evenings.
Even something as simple as a post-dinner walk gave them a way to connect while he stayed active.
His commitment to health didn’t have to be separate from their family life — it could actually enhance it.
Flexibility over perfection
The biggest shift came when he let go of the idea that his gym schedule had to be rigid. Some days, life would demand more from him at home, and that was OK. His fitness wasn’t all-or-nothing. It was about long-term consistency, not perfection.
She recognized that taking time to exercise made him feel better, which meant he showed up more present and engaged for their family.
This isn’t just a story about making time for the gym. It’s about how any lifestyle change — whether it’s fitness, work or a new commitment — impacts relationships. When something new enters the equation, adjustments need to be made on both sides.
They found a way to support his health goals without sacrificing family needs. And that’s what balance really looks like — not a perfect split of time, but an ongoing conversation about what works for everyone.
At the end of the day, health isn’t just about the gym, it’s about the relationships that keep us grounded.
Ruben J. Rocha is a certified massage therapist in Marin and the author of “Holding Space: Transformation Through Massage Therapy.”